Kevin SMASH!

Because I'm tired and I saw this in Kate Amann's lovely LiveJournal and it looked pretty neat and therapeutic, it's time to fight back. SHUT UP!

Shut up, headache!

Shut up, sleep deprivation!

Shut up, seasonal allergies!

Shut up, stupid college researchers, who I've been talking to on the phone in chunks of fifty per day for the last week!

Shut up, MARC Camden Line train that's been late arriving late in either Laurel, DC, or both every day for the last two weeks!

Shut up, crappy Main Street Laurel, with your interminable traffic lights that are poorly timed, lane designations that shift at the drop of a hat, and moronic drivers who swerve into said lanes without signaling or waiting!

Shut up, beaten-down old car that needs a 40-dollar oil change every few months, a few hundred dollars for a new muffler, and a tank of gas every week and a half at three dollars per gallon!

Shut up, beaten-down five-year old computer that is obsolete in every way and crashes every time I log on to - or off of - the Internet! I don't want to pay hundreds of dollars for a new computer!

SHUT UP, COMCAST! I DO NOT OWE YOU SIXTEEN DOLLARS FOR INTERNET SERVICE THAT I DID NOT RECEIVE! I WOULD RATHER BATHE IN VINEGAR AND URINAL CAKES THAN SIT THROUGH YOUR IRRITATING PHONE PROMPTS AND EXPLAIN THE SAME PROBLEM THAT I'VE ALREADY EXPLAINED TO FIVE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE LAST TWO MONTHS!

And of course, shut up, George W. Bush. You and your Junta, your cronies, consistently make life worse for hardworking, honest, regular people like myself and the people I love, and you could care less. It only took five years for your approval rating to plunge into the thirties, and that is a damned miracle. I hope you're sleeping well at night.

Whew, well I guess I feel better. It's nothing that another Friday afternoon won't cure. Oh, and I'm going to meet wrestling legend, bestselling author, liberal spokesperson, and my personal hero Mick Foley on Saturday at the Baltimore Comic Convention. Squeals of delight. There will be a story, and hopefully pictures.

Current Music: Soundgarden - Ty Cobb